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’ ‘Just so there’s no misunderstanding, if you ever feel like that’s not enough for you, you let me know ok? And we’ll re-evaluate how we do things.’ ‘Gotcha!’ I agreed. ‘But I think I like things this way. I just wanted to make sure- you know, make sure that I knew were we stand and what the rules are, so no one gets hurt.’ She laughed, and I felt like she was the older one. There seemed both wisdom and playfulness in her voice when she said, ‘There are no rules babe!’ Its hard to explain how good that made me feel, like we were on the same page. Like she knew me better than any one ever had, and accepted me just exactly for who I am. That beautiful, unconditional love is so hard to find. I never would have believed that it was even possible. Laying there, I wondered why I didn’t want to be monogamous. I mean, I was so content in her arms like I never wanted to be anywhere else. Like I could stay there forever. And yet I knew that I could never give up my sexual freedom. I flashed. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I’m on the left ... With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?... “What ... You’re coming empty handed?”Wise Italian GrandfatherWhy Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver so you will always remember me.”“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?”“You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.”“Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.“Whatta.
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